Fingers Crossed

by Jenny Stockdale

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about

Stockdale's first full-length album was recorded in Ithaca, NY between March and November 2014, mostly in the unheated attic music studio of her apartment. The songs on "Fingers Crossed" were mostly written during her time in Long Beach, California (2005-2012). It took getting 3,000 miles or more away, back to the frozen north, to gain perspective on a decade in the sun.

In December, 2014, she launched a successful PledgeMusic campaign that funded the production of CDs, 12" LPs, and various merchandise, throwing a birthday CD Release on February 7, 2015 at The Carriage House in Ithaca, NY, to celebrate. Learn more: www.pledgemusic.com/projects/jennystockdale

credits

released February 7, 2015

FINGERS CROSSED
1. Don’t Ask For Me | 2. Aftermath | 3. Butterfly Stitch | 4. Maple Leaves | 5. Red Rum | 6. Fire Escape | 7. Soap | 8. Night Sky | 9. Little Lies | 10. Exaggerated Shadows | 11. Gone | 12. Sidewalks

Music Credits
Cass Barbour – piano (2, 10)
Dana Billings – percussion (1, 2, 7, 9,10), honkytonk piano riff (10)
Brian Dozoretz – upright bass (2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 12)
Greg Evans – percussion (3, 4, 5, 11, 12)
Chris Frank – electric guitar (1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9) acoustic guitar (11), stomps & hand claps (6)
Hayden Frank – electric bass (1, 7)
Ryan Miller – electric guitar (8, 11), electric upright bass (8)
Justin Roeland – electric guitar (3) piano (8), mandolin (7)
Brian Schmidt – violin (7)
Jenny Stockdale – vocals & harmony vocals (1-12), acoustic guitar (2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10), electric guitar (11), toy piano, wine bottles, stomps & hand claps (6), pitchy whistling (8)

© 2015 BMI | ©℗ 2015 Jenny Stockdale | All songs written by Jenny Stockdale | Produced by Chris Frank & Jenny Stockdale | Engineered and mixed by Chris Frank | Mastered by Brian Dozoretz | Photo illustration by Adam Baker | Album design by Cristina Eagan | All rights reserved | Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws | jennystockdale.com

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about

Jenny Stockdale Ithaca, New York

Jenny Stockdale grew up in a cow town with one stoplight, a grange and a lot of manure spreaders. Her musical roots are deep, sometimes dark and sort of all over the place. She fits into the singer/songwriter category, but awkwardly, as her influences buckle together folk, gospel, rock and jazz. ... more

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Track Name: Don't Ask For Me
I did everything you asked me to
waited up all night by the door for you
caught every single lie you threw
so don’t ask for me,
I won’t answer.

I’ve known a love that you will never know
builds its own walls, throws its stones
you will lose your hair, you will die alone
so don’t ask for me,
I won’t answer.

I caught it on the way down
heard it from the roof
I was running miles away for miles at a minute
to stay bullet proof
You can put your head down,
it’ll rush right by you.
You lived a lie for five hundred days
when all you had to say was
the truth

Look at all those things
you’ve got on your sleeve
You will never have just what you need
You are all the reasons why I leave
don’t ask for me,
I won’t answer.

I caught it on the way down
heard it from the roof
I was running miles away for miles at a minute
to stay bullet proof
You can put your head down,
it’ll rush right by you.
You lived a lie for five hundred days
when all you had to say was
the truth

I did everything you asked me to
Held my breath till my face was blue
Now I’ll be someone you once knew
so don’t ask for me
I won’t answer
don’t ask for me
I won’t answer
don’t ask for me
Track Name: Aftermath
Bend at your will, break at your leisure
go where you need to, stay when you must
hold your breath for science
and pass out with the rest of us
watch the pretty white flag
above the edge of the nothing
wave in the absence of the wind
ripping up your logic
with the same big hands that somehow
have you pinned

Kind of just like when you were a baby
small, bald and crying, 10-inches tall
they track your cell division
with pencil hash marks on the wall
you grow and stretch and fracture
faster than you can handle
‘till you’re 80 and dying
slow and thin
waiting on the landscapes
to open up, swallow you whole again

You said it’s lifestyles live from the gutter
open up your uniform and stand in the rain
You said it’s lifestyles live from the gutter
I know what you’re feeling
it’s just more of the same

Dark as it might get where I’m going
I won’t be bringing along a light
to break open the shadows
and pull up corners of the night
there’s nothing left to say out loud
your words do not work here
in the aftermath of the afterglow
Your words will let you way down
but they’ll never, ever
let you go

You said it’s lifestyle live from the gutter
open up your uniform and stand in the rain
lifestyles live from the gutter
I know what you’re feeling it’s just more
of the same
Track Name: Butterfly Stitch
In the recess
in the recession
I found my way around the hallow sound
of a black hole
You know of
thirty things
that will hang big wings
on depression
but flying out’s
not allowed
in the shroud
of a dying wish
it’s pinned in with a butterfly stitch
makes you fall

I will call out
to the fallout shelter
are there any survivors, anyone one of us left alive?
echo echo
it answers
with a silence
that’s taking prisoners
seven year itch
out of black pitch
pinned in with a butterfly stitch
thought that we could be it, see it
now we won’t

oh maybe
maybe the recess catches the light
in what we’ve done
it’s lighting fireworks
from the sun

In the abscess
in the obsession
We lost my way out the open mouth of a blue whale
You speak of
dirty things
that will always sting
learned my lesson
I can’t tell which
dug ditch
has you pinned in with a butterfly stitch
thought that we would save it, brave it
now we won’t.

oh maybe
maybe the recess
catches the light in what we’ve done
it’s lighting fireworks
from the sun
Track Name: Maple Leaves
You had your fingers crossed behind your back
the whole damn time
your index and your middle digit intertwined
so no promises were kept
they were never even made
stapled to the start line
and right there they remain

I hear them sing
the demons in your throat
sprout big wings of fire
and high skyward they float

I let a heart of lead
hang his head
on my sleeve
but there is hope in that
handful of
maple leaves

You had your mind made up in wire knots
the whole damn time
your failures and your good intentions
intertwined
so no promises were kept
you gave them all away
to places you can't get to
and things you'll never say

yeah it's a mess of thread
but I've seen harder things
the quickest way to the end
is backwards from the beginning

I let a heart of lead
hang his head
on my sleeve
but there is hope in that
handful of
maple leaves
Track Name: Red Rum
I know the heavy fear of moving water
I've see a lot of good people drown
I pity your sons and daughters
led to slaughter
cuffed to the sound
of red ru
red rum

I've seen the heavy water spill your secrets
you have a history of half truths told
You keep it locked up in a glass encasement
in the basement of your lost soul
of red rum
red rum

go on and open up your eyes
see what your lies have done

I do not listen to liars
I will not let them enter my ear
I cannot hear them when they call out my name
like I'm about to always disappear

give me reason
reason
one good reason
To keep me here

red rum
red rum
go on and open up your eyes
see what your lies have done

red rum
give me reason
reason
one good reason
to keep me here
Track Name: Fire Escape
Always a dollar short
a decade late
there’s a fire out on the fire escape
but this fire, it does not give and take
it consumes

Always a dollar short
a decade late
there’s a fire out on the fire escape
but this fire, it does not give and take
it consumes

And I have surveyed your present past
and all I’ve ever known of glass
it’s the thing that you might see past
and not get through

Always the first one
through the wall

Why always the first one
through the wall

gets bloody
Track Name: Soap
Put your heart into an envelope
go send it through the mail
all the words you used
to build your homes and cities out of
were constructed to fail

write your name out with a sparkler
lose your letters in the flame
know that nothing burns as furious
and blue and hopeless
as a paper airplane

but I'm not lost
you will find
you count the cost
of all the lights behind you
waste my time

hang the heavy things with fishing line
tie the fragile ones with rope
wash my hands of you
until the water runs out frozen
this time I will use soap

'cause I'm not lost
you will find
I count the cost
of all the lights behind me
left behind
Track Name: Night Sky
Charlie’s eyes trace the path
of a bullet
cutting clouds into lines
in the air
watch his face, lines that trace
this godforsaken place
this place
this place

It’s all I can do to cry
under the ever-blacked
night sky
I’m singing behind the choir
watch as the walls fall
on your
empire

Daddy says we’ll wait around
for the earthquake
seismographs counting cracks
in the ground
He swears this round
is the sound
of the sky falling down
falling down
down

It’s all I can do to cry
under the ever-blacked
night sky
I’m singing beneath the floor
knowing that you’ve
got nothing
to be sorry for
Track Name: Little Lies
So the bough broke, cradle fell down
you gathered your head in your hands
they will know where you stand
until you sit down

Lens will open my eye
to the sound of this down-crashing plane
took a year-full of frames just so you
could take ‘em down
down

Through your bad dreams,
through your bad days
that wake you and shake you alive
if you’re not alright, why can’t you say it?

Lens will open my eye
to the sound of this fast-passing train
if you’re not okay, why can’t you play it?

It was here
but there
it goes
look at it with your eyes closed
you will see you don’t know
what you’re doing
ruined
with all your little lies

So the day broke, watched the sky fall
it’s held up with mercy and wire
if you’re not on fire, what’s got you screaming?

I will open my eyes
to the sound of this fast-passing train
heard an old man say he was too old for
dreaming

She was here
but there
she goes
look at her with her eyes closed
you will see you don’t know
what she’s doing
ruined with all
she chose
look at her with her eyes closed
you will see you don’t know
how to get there
threadbare
with all your
little lies
Track Name: Exaggerated Shadows
Staring down the mouth of an exaggerated
shadow, you folded
worrying to death about the document collapse
of time.
What did you expect running inward with the
fourth dimension?
You drew up your conclusions but so suddenly
you ran out of line.

You held your newspaper
up to the light
read the bad news backwards
it’s still black and white.

You call in all your favors,
desperate measures count
for desperate people
Judgment is a hammer
and you know I do not miss when I swing
If I have to leave you,
you should know that I will leave you enamored
And if you have to know, then you should know
that I do not miss thing.

You held your newspaper
up to the light
read the bad news backwards
it’s still black and white
I’ll see you next Sunday
light shining through
thinking maybe one day
I’ll get back to you.
Track Name: Gone
I’ll be gone before you make it
half way to Vegas
on the road, you can’t outrace it
I will be gone

I’ll get home before the leaves fall
snow hits the north wall
You can’t even hear the birds call
They’ll all be gone
I will be gone

If it wells up when we’re sleeping
there’s no safe keeping
for the love we have retreating
It will be gone

I will hear it when I need to
I had to leave you
Before it killed the things that we grew
wrote them down wrong
I will be gone

If you’re waiting on a blue sky
high pay and low tide
to be making up your lost mind
It will be gone

That’ll be as far as we get
past fear and regret
to the heart of where we both met
And we’ll sing these songs

But I will be gone
Track Name: Sidewalks
Nothing has changed here.
No seasons, no names.
You can cry all you want;
your tears won’t turn into rain.
Every last word
you left hanging on
ties to the shadow of things already gone.

Because the sidewalks
don’t take you where you need to be
and the lowest you’ll get is right next to me.

Nothing is broken.
No system, no bones.
You can hold up your head,
pack up your things and go home.
Every winter
I hang my head low
and sit with the things
I can’t bring myself to let go.

Because the sidewalks
don’t take you where you need to be
and the lowest you’ll get Is right next to me.

I said the sidewalks
won’t take you where you want to go
And all that you have’s all you need to know

No

Nothing to see here
You’ll see for yourself
The dying it takes, living your life on a shelf
Nothing is wrong dear
Thicken your blood stream
They will shake you awake
Say go home kid,
you had too much to dream